


One Way Flight

by LostLegend



Category: IT - Stephen King, it 2019 - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol, M/M, Pining, adult reddie, not that much pining bc it hurts me, this gets gay pretty fast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2020-12-09 16:36:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20997947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostLegend/pseuds/LostLegend
Summary: Eddie leaves his wife and comes and lives with Richie, No one dies.





	1. I'll be there for you

My phone rang in the darkness, startling me out of sleep and I made a noise that was almost a scream before realizing what it was and taking a deep breath to calm myself, rolling over in my bed to find the offending noise. It had only been a few weeks since I’d come back to my LA apartment, since I’d left Eddie at the hospital, since IT all happened, and I had to admit I was still a little jumpy around sudden noises and movements. PTSD will do that to you, especially so recently after an event as traumatic as my friends and I had experienced. Twice. I located my phone down by the side of my bed, pulling it up off the floor by the chord and answering it, my voice gruff from sleep.

“Mh-- Hello? Who the fuck is this and why are you calling so late?” I sat up slightly, feeling around for my glasses as I heard a panicked voice come through the other end.

“Rich?? Hello?? Sorry I---I didn’t know who to call I--” The rest was muffled and too fast for my tired brain to hear or process but I could tell at least who it was, and that he was freaking the fuck out. 

“Eds,” I started, shifting in my bed to even more of a sitting position, “Calm down I can’t fucking understand you man…” I heard him take a deep breath on the other end and reached over to flip my light on, a little worried.

“I didn’t think she’d be so mad dude.. I just told her I wanted a divorce I didn’t expect her to--” 

“Wait what?” I cut him off, blinking and trying to process what was going on. Divorce? Was he talking about his wife? A lot of the losers had been having trouble maintaining the relationships they’d cultivated before we all met again and regained our collective memories, but as much as I had given Eddie shit about his wife I hadn’t expected him to actually do something like leave. 

“She started throwing things I didn’t know what to do so I-- I’m--” I heard him take a long pause, apparently trying to compose himself, his voice shaking when he added, “I’m at the airport,” He paused again, “In LA.” 

“Huh??” I blinked in surprise, trying to process what he just said. “You’re in California?? Now?” I swung my legs over the side of the bed, trying to kick my brain into gear as I heard him huff an exasperated breath through the phone. 

“Yes, dude, that’s what I just fucking said okay? And I’m kind of freaking out here, can you just--”

“I’ll call you an uber,” I interrupted him, already putting my phone on speaker so that I could order him an uber from the airport.

“Thanks man..” He breathed and I screenshotted the uber page to text it to him. “I think I’m gonna go have a panic attack in the bathroom,” I heard him shuffle over the line before it went silent again and breathed what would have been a laugh if I wasn’t still tired and worried about him. 

“Okay, you want me to stay on the phone with you or I’ll just see you when you get here? Hello? Eddie?” Oh. He’d hung up already. Okay then. I texted him the screenshot of the uber page and hoped he wasn’t freaking out too much. I couldn’t believe he’d actually done it, but it hadn’t really seemed like a happy marriage anyway so I tried not to dwell on the fact that the first thing he’d done after leaving his wife was fly to fucking Los Angeles where I was. It probably didn’t mean anything, he just needed a friend. I stood, starting to pick up around my room before throwing a shirt on and going to wait for Eddie by the door like an anxious puppy waiting for its master. After waiting maybe a grand total of 30 minutes the uber app lit my phone up and told me the trip had been completed. I heard a knock at my door minutes later and stood quickly, almost knocking over my coffee table as I went to answer the door. The sight I was presented with upon swinging it open was a very anxious and disheveled looking Eddie holding a giant duffel bag which I could only assume was holding anything and everything he could grab while also trying to get out of his house as fast as humanly possible. The cut in his cheek had healed into a pink scar since the last time I’d seen him and his eyes looked sunken and tired from what I could only assume was being awake and stressed the entire night. 

“Hey,” he said almost flatly and I stepped aside to let him into the apartment.

“Hey, sorry didn’t have time to clean up…” I muttered, sort of a lie but not really. I closed the door behind him and he dropped his bag by the door and walking into my living area.

“Dude that is the least of my problems right now… Sorry for dropping by out of nowhere I just…” He sighed, flopping down onto my couch and pressing his face into his hands. “Ughhh”

“Hey, it’s fine..” I watched him, shifting where I stood before going to sit next to him on the couch. “You wanna talk about it at all?” My voice wasn’t teasing for once and he looked up at me, dropping one hand from his face and running the other hand through his hair.

“No, what I want is to fucking sleep for a year but that’s not gonna happen.” He laughed dryly and I shrugged.

“Well… You can crash on my couch for as long as you want, sorry I don’t have a guest room. You want some food or something?” He looked pale and exhausted and I was guessing the last time he ate was before he left on this last minute trip. He shrugged and I stood, walking into the kitchen. “It’s too late to order shit but I got like…. Poptarts?” I called, looking in my cupboard and realizing how little food I actually kept in the apartment. Shit.. I needed to stop eating out so much. I heard him groan and walked back into the other room. “Is that a ‘no’ to the poptarts ‘cause I don’t really have much else right now.. I mean I have beer but...” I trailed off and he sighed and shook his head. 

“I don’t care, man… I kinda just wanna sleep right now so I can deal with some of this tomorrow..” I nodded. He’d been through a lot tonight, not that he hadn’t been through worse, I knew that better than anyone, but he’d still been through a lot. 

“I’ll get some blankets n let you pass out then, bathrooms this way if you wanna brush your teeth or something..” I gestured and heard him curse, turning around to see him looking through his overstuffed bag.

“I forgot my fucking toothbrush…” He muttered, sounding defeated as I turned again and went to grab him some blankets and a pillow from my hall closet before I walked back over, dumping them on the couch next to him. Eddie looked up at me. “Thanks, Rich… I feel like a teenager that ran away from home or something and I’m a grown ass man..” He sighed and I gave him a sympathetic look. 

“You should get some rest dude, we can talk about this, and get you a new toothbrush, tomorrow.” I stretched a little and he nodded, starting to get situated on the couch as I turned to walk back to my bedroom. 

“Hey Rich--” He started and I turned back again to look at him.

“Hm?” 

“Thanks for being open to me staying here without.. I mean… Well it’s really last minute and I know you’re busy a lot so just.. Thanks man.” He was rubbing the back of his neck and I felt myself smile a little bit. 

“Any time Eddie Spaghetti, I’m gonna pass out now. It’s like…” I checked the time, “Shit, like four in the fucking morning... G’night,” I waved my hand over my shoulder and heard him murmur something that sounded like, 

“Don’t call me that,” and then, “night.” I walked back to my bedroom, letting the door swing shut behind me before flopping back into my bed and turning off the light again, not bothering to peel myself out of the t-shirt I’d thrown on to welcome Eddie into my apartment. Sleep hit me almost as soon as my face touched my pillow, something I didn’t experience often because, you know, trauma. I let myself lean into the blackness and hoped Eddie would be fine sleeping on my couch as I felt my world go dark.


	2. Let's catch up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they finally get a chance to talk. a lot.

I woke up in a daze. Shit, I was so fucking tired. How was I this tired? I reached out for my glasses, yawning, and walked out of my bedroom towards the bathroom, stripping out of my clothes and turning on the shower with another yawn. I didn’t bother to close the door, I lived alone, why should I? Climbing into the shower, I grabbed the shampoo and began to lather it into my hair with a little hum. Then I heard a voice. Fuck. Eddie. 

“Morning, Rich, were you gonna shower? Can I --- AAH!” He walked into my bathroom before he screamed, putting his hands up and ducking back out of the room, apparently not expecting me to have gotten into the shower yet as the door was still open. “Close the fucking door, asshole!” I heard him over the shower and laughed.

“Sorry!” I called, not getting out to close it. I tilted my head up towards the water, running my hand through my soapy hair and letting the water wash the shampoo out of it before just quickly washing up the rest of myself and turning off the shower. I hummed as I stepped out and closed the door, toweling myself off before drying my hair. I didn’t bother brushing it, fuck it, the only person who I maybe cared about seeing me a mess was Eddie and he’d seen me in literal shit water or covered in blood or both on more than one occasion. I dragged my fingers over it to at least part it where it wasn’t annoying and then brushed my teeth before wrapping my towel around my waist and walking out to the living room where Eddie was seated still a little red faced on the couch. 

“So, you see anything you wanna look twice at back there or?” I joked, and he shot a glare at me, eyebrows furrowing.

“Fuck you, dude, go put some clothes on!” His nostrils flared and for a second I saw his eyes flick down to my towel before fixing back on my face like it hadn’t even happened. “And learn how to shower with the door closed I mean god damn…” I laughed before turning around.

“I’m gonna get dressed.” 

“Good.” I walked back to my bedroom, hearing him sigh in the other room as I closed my door behind me and picked out some clothes, a purple and light blue patterned button up with a stupid joke t-shirt underneath and some dark jeans. I pulled on my clothes and then walked back out, holding my arms out.

“Okay, see? Not naked anymore,” I spun slowly before coming to sit down next to him on the couch. “You sleep okay out here?” He shrugged and let out a breath through his nose.

“Honestly? Not really.. But it wasn’t because of the couch. It’s weirdly comfortable.” He turned to look at me and the corner of his lips turned up slightly for a moment before he frowned and looked away again. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Rich…” His voice was soft and I reached out and put a hand on his shoulder, trying to be comforting. 

“It’ll be okay man.. I mean hey if you could survive being a human shish kebab you’ll survive this right?” I cleared my throat, cutting him off as he opened his mouth to respond. “Sorry bad joke…” It was a miracle he’d survived the injury, that fucking clown--thing-- and his claw.. It had missed most of his vital organs but he’d still needed surgery and no one was sure if he’d live for a week afterward. I still had nightmares about the blood and the dead lights and the fear that Eddie would die before we could carry him out of that place. I shook my head, trying to clear it of those thoughts. “How’s your chest though, I wouldn’t think they’d let you fly this soon after surgery.. Or did you just not give a shit about that?” I’d be surprised if he hadn’t thought about the air pressure and his still healing chest, I mean this was Eddie, saying the man was neurotic was the understatement of the century. He lifted a hand, placing it over the spot where the wound had been (and in all honesty probably still was).

“It was fine… I did some research on my phone on the way to the airport but she-- Myra…. She wouldn’t stop calling me so I turned it off.. That’s why I didn’t call and tell you I was coming.” He let out a heavy breath. “Sorry again about that, I could tell I woke you up and…” He trailed off and I breathed out a little sigh. 

“Hey man, it’s fine. You had a good reason to wake me up and plus, I never really sleep for at least half of most nights anyway.” I saw him smile a little bit at that, but it wasn’t a happy one, just a smile of understanding. We’d all come out of Derry with twice as much trauma as the first time if we’d been able to remember any of it, and I was sure I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t get to sleep most nights. “You wanna order some food? I’m assuming you haven’t eaten in a pretty long time..” I changed the subject and saw him cringe.

“Uh.. I would but I think my assets are frozen so... I might be fucked.” I hissed through my teeth and then shrugged.

“Well fuck.. I don’t mind paying for you to eat-- or anything else for a little while to be honest, I’ve got all that sweet standup coin, but you’re gonna have to get that sorted out like… Legally and shit at some point.” He groaned and I watched him grind the palms of his hands into his eye sockets before pulling his hands away and nodding.

“Yeah, I know.. Know any good lawyers?” He glanced at me and I breathed a soft laugh through my nose. 

“Yeah I’m totally a guy who hangs out with lawyers,” His hand came out to slap me on the shoulder lightly and his eyebrows furrowed again.

“I’m serious, Rich..” His voice sounded a little stern but I just shrugged, standing up and pulling my cellphone out of my pocket and opening up some online menus. 

“Yeah, yeah.. I’ll help you figure that out later. What d’you want to eat? Let’s forget about all that for a while, you’re in Cali! Just pretend like it’s a really fucked up vacation or something.” This time I heard him breathe what was almost a laugh through his nose. 

“Not as fucked up as our little Derry reunion at least,” He stretched back against my couch and I smiled a little.

“Dude I don’t think anything can come close to being as fucked up as that, I mean man eating clowns and shit? I’m gonna be in therapy for the rest of my life,” He nodded in agreement and I hummed. “Fuck it, I’m just gonna order a pizza, you cool with that?” I looked down at him, already starting to place the order on my phone. 

“Yeah I don’t care..” He leaned over, digging around in his bag for a moment before producing a container of what could have either been painkillers or anti anxiety meds, I couldn’t tell. I watched him dry swallow two of them before tucking them away again and finished placing the pizza order, absentmindedly clicking on toppings before I paid and closed out of the page. 

“We can go to the store or something later and pick up anything you forgot to bring with you if you want,” I looked at him, tucking my phone back into my pocket and he nodded, letting out another little sigh as I once again took the seat next to him on the couch.

“Yeah that’d be good. If I have to go another 24 hours without a toothbrush I think I might die,” His voice sounded flat and I laughed. Classic Eddie. The man had literally been stabbed through his face and chest within the same week and survived but going two days without brushing his teeth was enough to make him lose it. We were both silent for a moment and I stretched back against the couch before he spoke again, his voice soft this time. 

“I really missed you, dude.” I paused. Oh. That had caught me off guard. I looked at him, about to crack a joke before the look on his face stopped me and I just sat there, my mouth unable to find words for once. “I mean…” He started again, one hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck as he looked away. “After everything that happened… After we killed it… You kinda just left me there man..” He sounded so small and I felt something in my heart snap. I hadn’t wanted to leave him, obviously, I’d never want to leave him, but it had been too painful for me to handle the reality of him going back to his wife, and I’d never ask him to do something like leave, not for me. So instead I waited until I knew he’d be okay and then made up a tour date out of thin air and disappeared. You know, like an asshole. 

“I--” I started, but the fear of my voice cracking stopped me. He looked up at me and shrugged his shoulders forward a little before looking back to his lap, fiddling with his hands. 

“Sorry.. That came out of nowhere, forget it...” He backtracked and I just stared at him, trying to get my usually ever-so-quick mouth to formulate a response that wasn’t fucking jokey for once. 

“I didn’t want to,” I finally managed, hesitantly holding a hand out before placing it on his shoulder, watching his eyes once again shift up to meet mine. “Leave I mean. I didn’t want to. I just… Fuck man-- seeing you like that--” I couldn’t put my thoughts together coherently but I was trying my best and Eddie at least looked like he could tell that much. He gave me a sympathetic look and I frowned, moving my hand from his shoulder to anxiously run it through my hair. “I guess I kind of just wanted to run away.. Which was really shitty of me.. Really really shitty... I mean fuck I was just thinking of me and my stupid feelings and I--”

“Rich.”

“I didn’t even think about-- I couldn’t think about you-- I just--”

“Richie--”

“I can’t even imagine what it was like to be in that fucking hospital by yourself with a hole in your chest--”

“RICH! Shut the fuck up for a second!” He finally cut me off loud enough for me to stop rambling, putting both hands on my shoulders and jarring me out of my anxious rant. I stared at him before my eyes flickered away again. 

“Sorry..” I breathed and his hands dropped away before I felt him pull me into a hug and I froze, not expecting the contact. 

“It’s fine,” he murmured before pulling back again, “I get it. Derry was a lot for all of us.” His eyes were swimming with understanding and for a moment I almost felt like I was going to cry before I regained my composure slightly and just nodded, letting out a little sigh. 

“Yeah..” I paused, feeling myself start to choke up a little again. “I’m really glad you’re okay, dude… I thought-- I mean for a second--” 

“I know,” he cut me off again, letting out a shaky breath. “I know dude. I did too,” he paused, and I realized then how pale he looked. “Can we-- I mean we don’t need to talk about this right now right?” 

“Ah.. No dude we don’t have to talk about it.. Sorry..” Right, this was Eddie. The guy who worried about infections from papercuts. He probably-- definitely didn’t want or need to be reminded about how he almost died, especially with an ever-present hole still healing in his chest. I cleared my throat, having a thought about how to change the subject and immediately voicing it. 

“You wanna get shitfaced?” At that, Eddie huffed a breath of laughter, giving me an incredulous look. 

“Rich.. It’s like 11 am.” 

“So??” I threw up one of my hands. “We’re having fucking pizza for breakfast, plus what do you have to do today thats more important than getting wasted and ignoring our problems?” I stared at him for a moment before he smiled, shaking his head.

“You know what? fuck it. Sure, but can we at least get me a toothbrush first?” I shrugged, thinking for a moment.

“I might have an extra one in my bathroom.” Eddie deadpanned.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“What??” I blinked. He was using that tone he always used when he was about to bitch me out about something, a tone I found endearing and was especially fond of. 

“You had an extra fucking toothbrush the entire goddamn time? And I’ve just been-- Living-- Not even living just existing here with my mouth feeling like it’s full of-- Full of fucking airport germs and sleep slime and-- UGH!” Oh shit. I was definitely in love with this angry little man. Yep. 

“I said I might! I just remembered it’s not like I was trying to fucking keep it from you or something!” I tried to defend myself as Eddie rose from the couch. 

“Show me. Now. I need to fucking disinfect my mouth.” He turned with a huff, walking towards my bathroom and I took a second to watch him go before I got up to follow him, a slight smile on my face. Damn… It felt really fucking good to have him here. I turned into the bathroom and made a startled sound as I saw Eddie going through one of the drawers - although thankfully not one containing anything scandalous. 

“Hey wait don’t just start going through drawers and shit--” I walked over, opening the drawer that might contain a spare new toothbrush and smiling a little when I saw one there, pulling it out. “Here.” I held it out to him and he grabbed it, pushing the drawer he’d been searching through closed. 

“Thanks. What you got in the drawers that you don’t want me to find anyway?” He was giving me a look that was almost mischievous with one eyebrow quirked. “Got some weird sex shit or something?” I let out a little breath that I turned into a chuckle, shrugging.

“Hey I’m just trying to save your mom the embarrassment of you finding her underwear there,” I grinned as he groaned and shoved me in the side.

“She’s dead, asshole,” he retorted, but there wasn’t any bite to it. “Where’s your toothpaste?” I opened a cabinet, grabbing it and handing it to him before I heard a knock from outside the apartment.

“Ah, pizza’s probably here I’ll go pay while you-- yeah you’re already doing it I’ll be out there,” I gestured with my thumb as he started to brush his teeth, ducking back out of the bathroom to go answer the door and paying for the pizza with a remark to the pizza guy about just how fucking fast he’d gotten there and how the fuck did he manage to do that in LA before closing the door again and walking to my living room. I set the pizza down on the coffee table, opening the box and grabbing a slice as Eddie walked out of the bathroom. He stopped, giving me a look and I raised an eyebrow. 

“Wha-?” I mumbled around a mouthful of pizza and he looked grossed out. 

“Are you not using plates?? You’re gonna get fucking crumbs everywhere,” he huffed and I watched him walk into my kitchen, sitting down to eat as I heard him opening cabinets before he seemed to find what he was looking for and returned with two plates, sitting down next to me on the couch. He handed me one and I held it in my lap, hovering my slice over it and trying not to think about how very domestic all of this was. Eddie wolfed down his food in a way I hadn’t really seen him do since we were kids, seeming to realize how hungry he had actually been and quickly devouring a surprising amount of food for a man of his stature. Okay, so maybe he wasn’t that short anymore, but he was still shorter than me and most of the time I wasn’t gonna let him forget about it. I hummed. 

“So… You still down to get fucked up?” Eddie shrugged, still chewing. “I’ll take that as yes.” I stood from the couch again, walking into my kitchen and opening the freezer. Hm, tequila or vodka? A difficult choice. I grabbed both bottles before going into the cabinet for shot glasses and returning to the living room, flopping down and jostling Eddie slightly. 

“Hey-- careful bumping me and shit dude I’ve still got an injury..” I set the bottles and glasses down onto my coffee table.

“Sorry, wanna do some morning shots?” I watched him roll his eyes and put down his plate, eyeing the bottles.

“Not really but I’m going to,” he picked up one of the glasses and the bottle of vodka before he paused again. “I’m not drinking tequila right now though if you wanna make that choice that’s on you.” I raised an eyebrow, looking amused and picking up the other glass again, grabbing the tequila and popping the cork out of the top. I poured a fairly generous shot and watched Eddie do the same with the vodka before we both set down our respective bottles and I held up my glass.

“Cheers, Eddie Spaghetti,” I grinned and he rolled his eyes heavily again.

“Dude. Shut the fuck up.” He had a slightly annoyed look on his face but his eyes were amused and he held his glass up anyway. “Cheers, trashmouth.” My grin widened at that and I clinked my glass against his before I slammed it, noting afterward that Eddie had done the same. I grabbed the tequila, leaning back against the couch as I poured another shot. 

“It’s nice to hang out with you like… Well I guess just not in fucking Derry.” I looked at him and he breathed a sigh through his nose, nodding and pouring himself another shot as well. He took it and I stared at mine for a second before taking it as well, wrinkling my nose a little. 

“Yeah, even though the circumstances aren’t good they’re still definitely better…” He picked up one of the last slices of pizza, biting into it before making a face and setting it down again. “Pizza and vodka do NOT taste good together, ew.” I breathed a laugh and gestured at him.

“You want me to mix you a drink instead? Might be better with food.” He looked thoughtful for a second before he shrugged. 

“Maybe later, take another shot with me.” 

“Okay,” he wouldn’t have to ask me twice. I poured myself another shot and watched him pour his own again before I held it up to cheers him again. 

“Cheers, to surviving fucking aliens or whatever the fuck,” I held out my other arm and heard Eddie breathe a laugh.

“Fucking hell, Rich, can you stop bringing that up already??” He clinked his glass against mine before he downed the shot and I mirrored him with a little cough, waving my hand almost dismissively.

“Sorry, sorry.. Y’know me, can’t stop fucking joking about my own trauma and all that.. Well-- I guess our own trauma.. I’ll shut up.” I grabbed the pizza slice Eddie had abandoned and bit into it before putting it back onto the plate and glancing at him. He was staring at me in an odd sort of way and I raised an eyebrow at him, seeming to shake him out of it halfway. 

“What?” I blinked at him and he shook his head.

“Nothing. This is just kind of.. I mean it’s weird? But it’s not weird… Which is why it’s weird I guess?” He looked away and I watched him turn the vodka bottle over in his hands before he set it down on the coffee table and shrugged. “I guess I’m just kinda bummed I missed out on being your friend all those years.” I felt a pang in my chest at his words and sucked in a little breath. I didn’t like thinking about all the time I’d missed out on with Eddie, it fucked me up that we didn’t even remember each other for almost 30 fucking years of our collective lives. 

“Hey,” I started, the three shots of tequila I’d taken starting to make me feel like confessing things I probably shouldn’t. But I wanted to, and Bev had taken it well enough when I’d told her before leaving Derry so hopefully Eddie would too. “I have something I need to tell you, man…” My hand came up to rub the back of my neck and I glanced at Eddie who was looking at me expectantly, once again holding the bottle of vodka and fiddling with the cap.

“Yeah, dude, you can tell me whatever,” I watched him flick the cap off of the bottle and lift it to his lips, taking a pull directly out of it instead of using the glass which made me smile for a moment before I focused for too long on his lips and my nerves caught me again.

“I uh,” I started. Fuck, I hoped I wouldn’t throw up or something. Okay, okay, fuck fuck fuck this was it. My fingers twisted in my lap and I found myself staring down at them, my voice getting quiet. “I’m gay,” I finally mumbled, letting out a sigh and closing my eyes before I opened them again and fixed them on Eddie, trying to read his expression. He blinked.

“Oh.”

I couldn’t stop myself.

“Oh?? Fucking oh? That’s it??-- I mean-- Are you going to say anything else or?” It sounded a lot more anxious and exasperated than I’d meant it to but I didn’t have time to dwell on that because before I could say or even fucking think anything else Eddie’s lips were against mine and I could taste vodka on his tongue and holy fuck holy FUCK what??? I felt him pull back and stammered for a second, completely at a loss for words for once. Eddie swallowed.

“Fuck-- Sorry dude I just--”

“Don’t be.” I breathed, cutting him off. I suddenly felt like I was much drunker than I should be off of only three shots, something I was sure Eddie was the cause of. His eyes caught mine and I stared at him for a moment before my mouth moved almost on its own.

“Did you leave your wife for me?” I blurted the question and mentally kicked myself in the gut. What the FUCK, Tozier?? Not the time to fucking bring up the guy’s very recently made ex wife. I heard Eddie groan and he leaned back against the couch, turning his head to look at me out of the corner of his eyes. He was silent for a second before he just sighed.

“I can tell by how you’re looking at me you regret asking that, which you should,” he paused, letting out a breath through his nose and looking away as his eyebrows pinched together. “But truthfully? I have no idea what the answer to that question is.. I mean no, not really, I wasn’t happy anyway but I…” He sighed, pressing his face into his palms. “I think I didn’t fully realize that until I remembered you.” Oh fuck. I had never wanted to kiss anyone this bad. I stared at him and after a brief pause, he spoke again. “Back in Derry… I almost wasn’t going to go back home but..”

“But then I left you there,” I groaned and slapped a hand onto my forehead. “I’m a fucking idiot.” I heard Eddie breathe a laugh and looked up to see him nodding.

“Yeah you’re a fucking dumbass. But so am I. I mean I flew to fucking LA on what was basically a panicked whim but… Fuck is it bad if I don’t even care that my life basically blew up around me? I mean it just-- It feels more right to be here getting day drunk with you than.. Well more right than most of my life has felt really…” I watched him run one hand through his hair and let out a little breath.

“Fuck, I mean up until basically a month ago I've kinda been in perpetual midlife crisis mode so… I sort of get what you mean." I laughed and watched Eddie nod, taking another pull from the bottle before he set it down on the table again.

"Yeah I kinda figured that out when I saw the fucking bright red sports car you drove to our little losers reunion," Now it was his turn to laugh and I leaned over to shove him playfully. 

"Shut up," I was grinning, "That car was beautiful and-"

"Beautifully ridiculous maybe," He cut me off and I laughed again, rolling my eyes. 

"Fuck you, don't tell me you didn't wanna take a joy ride in that thing." I grabbed the vodka from off of the table and took a pull from it before slamming it down again, earning me a,

"Rich be fucking careful that's glass, man.." To which I just rolled my eyes before I paused, getting a little more serious again.

"It feels really good to have you here, dude." My voice was soft and sincere and Eddie nodded. 

"It feels good to be here," I smiled.

"At the risk of sounding like a horny teenager," I paused, watching his expression shift to one of amusement. "Do you want to like... make out? Feels like we have a lot of lost time to make up for and I don’t know about you but if Ben and Bev can hook up right away--"

“Are you kidding?” He cut me off, “it took Ben like.. Almost as long as it took us to get his shit together and tell Bev he loved her.”

“Almost,” I agreed. “But enough about that, you didn’t answer my question.” Then I paused. Wait, was Eddie saying he loved me? Because I definitely loved him. My thought process was cut short when he spoke again. 

“What question?” I couldn’t tell if he was feigning innocence to fuck with me or not but I wasn’t afraid to repeat myself, not at this point, not after he’d already kissed me once without warning. 

“Kiss me again, you ass.” It wasn’t a question this time and he laughed before nodding and I leaned in, capturing his lips again.

Fuck, I was so fucking glad he was here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took me so long i hope it sounds like them, next chapter coming whenever i have time between essays


	3. I love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some softness

How we got from making out on the couch to messily hooking up in my bed was beyond me but I had no complaints at the situation, although alcohol seemed to make a lot of it move by in a blur of limbs and skin and sweat and bated breaths. It wasn’t sex, not all the way, Eddie hadn’t ever been with another man and we were both sort of drunk but it was still a lot more than I’d ever expected to get to do with him and through the haze I was in I tried to relish every movement, every sound, every breath until we were laying exhausted beside one another. After we were silent for a long moment I spoke.

“So,” I paused, still catching my breath, “we gonna talk about this, or?” I shifted on my bed next to him, my arm thrown behind my head to keep my still extremely sweaty hair off of my pillow. Through fogged glasses I watched him turn his head to look at me and shrug. 

“Eventually… We’ll probably have to…” He sounded just as out of breath as me and more than a little reluctant to have the conversation about our circumstances. I mean, where do you even fucking start to talk about feelings that have been stewing for 30 or more years? Especially when those feelings are for your best friend and ESPECIALLY after you’ve just sort-of-drunk-hooked-up with said best friend. I let out a breath, suddenly feeling a little nervous again, and cleared my throat, my voice soft when I finally spoke again. 

“Do you regret it?” I watched his expression shift to one of surprise before he just rolled over, shifting closer to me. 

“No,” I felt his head bump my shoulder and looked down to see his eyes flick up and meet mine. “But that doesn’t make it less weird… Even if it’s the good kind of weird..” His gaze shifted away again and I smiled, shifting a little to throw an arm around his shoulder and humming a little in agreement.

“Mm.. You’re right… But I’d take this kind of weird over any other kind of fucking weird we’ve experienced, that’s for sure..” My smile widened a bit as I watched him roll his eyes, the corners of his lips turning up. He looked like he was about to say something, but my blissed out brain was causing my mouth to babble all kinds of stupid lovey shit and I cut him off before he could speak. 

“Hey.. Move in with me..” I didn’t really even realize what I was saying, or at least the seriousness of the suggestion, until I felt Eddie tense beside me and he stared up at me, eyebrows furrowing. 

“Rich…” He started but I couldn’t stop myself from interrupting again. 

“I’m serious-- I--” He was watching me, and the way he was looking at me, hopeful but a little sad just made me want to wrap him up in a fucking blanket burrito and never let him leave my bed. I  _ was  _ serious. “I know how sudden that is-- How all of this is-- But fuck, Eds, we’ve been through so much bad shit and I…” I trailed off, my eyes searching his and he nodded, seeming to understand. “I just want to go through good shit now… With you.” He looked looked a tiny bit anxious before he seemed to shake it off and I once again felt his head nuzzle into my shoulder.

“I want that too..” He sighed and pulled up one of my blankets to cover himself a little more, seemingly growing self conscious. I was a little surprised he hadn’t tried to get up to shower yet, but I was glad at the same time, more than content to continue to lay there cuddling him in my sweaty sheets. He curled into me a little and I tightened my arm around him, mindful of his chest wound. “I wanna nap..” He blinked up at me, “feels like my brain isn’t working at all right now..” I laughed softly and nodded, feeling similarly. 

“Mmkay.. Only if you promise we can talk about this after..” My voice was teasing and he elbowed me lightly, yawning. 

“Mmh-- fine, you fucker, we can talk about this after you let me sleep a little more. And shower.” I grinned and he rolled over, pressing his face into my chest and looping an arm around me. I pressed a kiss to Eddie’s hair with a soft sigh, closing my eyes and letting myself doze, not really fully falling asleep but enjoying Eddie’s warmth and the smell of his sweat and his skin. This was definitely not how I had expected my week to be going but fuck if it wasn’t the best damn week of my life. We stayed like that for what was probably a little over an hour before the feeling of Eddie stretching in my arms roused me from the half-sleep state I’d been in and I yawned, blinking. Fuck, I hadn’t even taken off my glasses. They were pressed uncomfortably into my nose at an angle that was definitely less than ideal. I groaned softly and shifted, stretching before I glanced down at Eddie who was shifting as well. He stretched an arm over his head, wincing when the action apparently pulled at the still extremely fresh scarring on his chest, then made a disgusted sound. 

“Okay, I need to shower NOW or I’m going to die. I feel so fucking gross..” He sat up and made a face and I let out a breathy chuckle. 

“Feel like some company?” I watched him roll his eyes but then he nodded. 

“Fine, but if you don’t let me get clean I’m not letting you get off. Ever.” I snorted at that and shifted to sit up as well before I rolled out of the bed and stretched my arms out again. 

“Harsh, spaghetti man.” I shot him a look of mock hurt and he rolled his eyes again.

“Man never mind you’re not allowed to shower with me if you call me that,” I watched the corners of his lips turn up into a smile he was trying to hide and approached him, bumping my head down against his shoulder. 

“I love you,” I hummed the words and he let out a breath before he leaned into me slightly.

“I love you too,” he paused, “shower. Now.” I laughed. Fuck, I loved him, and he loved me. Maybe things wouldn’t be so collectively horrible for the two of us from here on out. I smiled to myself as I followed him to the bathroom, not taking my eyes off of him the whole way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry im ending this here i burned out but i wanted to end it soft -- its really short i know but thats that because im dumb and am working on five other fics right now -- i love yall, would love feedback if you've got any :)

**Author's Note:**

> if you enjoy this please comment i love feedback !


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